What does it feel like when you don’t listen to your intuition? I share a story about how recently I was too far in my masculine energy and how my intuition was trying to get a message across by having me feel anxious.
How are you taking care of your health proactively? This is a big theme coming up in the collective right now.
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[00:00:00] Welcome everyone to the Your Energy First Podcast. I’m your host, Emily Marie, and it is such a pleasure to have you here today to co-create with you in this space and to talk about all things your energy.
Hello everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. I’m your host, Emily Marie. It is so amazing to have you here today. Deep breath, shoulders down, elongated from your ears or your chin, or maybe your hair. , how are you doing today? How are you doing in this moment? Truly, how are you doing? The real, real, right? Do we need to give anything space?
Does anything feel a bit crunchy or are you feeling pretty? The guides are bringing in spirits, bringing [00:01:00] in. It is solar plexus power, chakra energy for us all, and they’re bringing it into the back part of our energy fields right now. And if you’re new to this podcast, welcome, I hold space for the highest good of all involved.
That means at an individual and group level. We may experience something a little bit different, you’re only gonna receive that which is for your highest good. And that comes from a your source, not me and your spirit team and higher self guide. That meaning you are in the power, you are in the leadership seat of your life.
So today we’re gonna cover three things. First thing is I have a thank you. I have a thank you. I have many thank yous. I’m gonna go for one specific thank you today for all of. And I’m also gonna talk about the fact that I am getting a breast massage today. And one of my favorite topics is different ways we can care for ourself, [00:02:00] proactively.
To me, that’s what energy work is. Yes. It’s healing. Yes. It feels really good. Yes. Affirmations and intentions can bring us out of funks, and yet it’s one piece of the overall pie. Right. So I’m gonna talk about that. I’m actually getting the massage this afternoon, so I’m gonna tell you what kind of led up to that, my story behind it, and then I’ll report back on my podcast on how it went.
But yeah, I’m a little bit of a wellness junkie. I love this stuff. I think it’s so fun. So some people have cars, some people have expensive bags. I want wellness . And then the other thing I’m gonna talk about today is I’m gonna share a story how I did not listen to my intuition recently, and you guys know how I’m transparent with you about the good, bad, and the ugly about this energy work stuff.
Because I want you to feel calm and comfortable being accepting yourself for [00:03:00] all of who you are on your own journey. Because when you do that, more of you, more of your magic is gonna come forward. It. And I know that in the past, and we’ve talked about this, how there’s definitely this idea that there’s this perfection and spirituality, and let me be the voice of reason that says there’s no such thing as perfection and spirituality.
You are human on this earth plane, and your goal is to love and accept yourself more. Get closer to the aspect of love, which is. So here we are. Okay. So I have also been working on some things in the background. I’m really excited to get to roll out to you. It’s gonna take me some time. It’s a lot. . I had a friend of mine, I’m gonna be interviewing her for the podcast in these upcoming months, and I had her old space for me because I said, all of this stuff is coming forward.
And she goes, oh yeah, it’s a lot. And then I said, I just want you to confirm and validate with my guides because this is what I do in sessions for you all. [00:04:00] Hold space for energy healing and transformation. And then of course we work on where do you feel blocked, but also, you know, just that validation piece.
So my friend goes into this space holding for me and I think you could tell she was kinda like, oh yeah, that might, you know, maybe just focus on a few things. And she goes, oh no, get ready. You’re gonna do all the things, . But I’m excited. I’m so excited about each of them. These are all containers I’m gonna be holding for things I’ve been through.
You know, once I’ve gone through something and processed it, I love to hold space for someone else to go through it and have their own transformation, and transformation does not happen overnight. So these are gonna be containers that may be a month to a little bit longer because sometimes we need time to process these things.
I’ve been through periods of my life, like when I was writing your energy, first, I wrote the first draft. It was Winter 2020. and then Spirit was like, we [00:05:00] need to give you a lot of space because more stuff, you’ve gotta learn more things. You’ve, they didn’t put it quite like this. Hindsight’s always 2020, you guys, even with intuition.
But they were telling me I needed more space and more time and there was a lot of things I had to learn and grow and develop into in order for me to rewrite the book, which I did, which was crazy because when I went back to it towards the middle of end of this last summer in 2022, I scrapped over 80% of what I wrote.
I still had the outline of. So the point is, it’s not that in this short amount of time in these containers, you’re gonna have this massive transformation. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. What you will do is you will develop further knowingness in yourself, further trust in yourself, and you, you’ll feel safe moving forward to further explore these things within.
Because we don’t wanna ever be beholden to someone our whole life, right? . Like that’s why we grow up and our parents [00:06:00] don’t take care of us anymore, . So same goes with spiritual practitioners in anything, right? So I will always be here. I still love doing one-on-one sessions. So for these containers, you are going to have moments of clarity for yourself, moments of inspiration, but most importantly, you’re gonna develop these tools and skillsets on how to.
How to take yourself through it moving forward, which is so important. And then every once in a while you reach out to someone you like or someone you trust when it comes to energy, it could be me, it could be someone else. You know, I’m a huge fan of working with different types of folks and you know, maybe we hold space for you and just kind of help you hold your hand as you step into that next part.
Okay. So more info on all of that to come. Now they’re working on our throat chakras. Again, you guys know if you’ve been listening to this throat chakras, oh my gosh, this energy is actually really cool. It’s also coming through the back part of our throat chakra right now. It’s going all the way through and it’s bursting out the front.
I have to [00:07:00] say I haven’t seen that before, but I’ve only been practicing formal energy work. I don’t even know how long it’s been, you guys, my guides. I have been in training my whole life, but you know what I mean, at a conscious level. And I also think a lot of us have been training for a lot of things our whole.
So I have never had that aha moment. Oh my gosh, I’m all of a sudden woke. But I know a lot of people who have. For me, it’s just been a very slow and gentle process. I say gentle, but there’s been so much cru and crap, and those stories that cut and crap will come out over time on this podcast in another ways.
So the thank you that I have for you is around, some of you have sent me, Questions, either in dms or in emails, left them in the comment section on social media. And I wanna thank you because I know what it’s like to, it’s almost kind of brave, right? You’re like, I’m trying to figure this out. I don’t really feel like I know what I’m talking about.[00:08:00]
I’m talking to someone who seems to know what she’s talking about, and in some ways I do. And then also know, I consider myself a student of myself and the universe. Number one. Like number one, I am a student. Period. End of. And I love to share and teach and mentor for things that I’ve learned and how I’ve learned them.
So I know it can be kind of intimidating to send these questions, or maybe you feel kind of silly asking these questions and you’re like, oh my gosh, this is a 1 0 1 question. And you know, Emily has better things to do. I love answering your questions. I love helping you, and I have boundaries, so don’t.
Send me your questions, right, and I will get back to you when it makes sense. Sometimes people ask questions and it’s something specific about their energy, and I would have to tap into their energy and hold space for that container in order to answer the question, and that’s when I’ll deflect and say, Hey, you can book a one-on-one session with me on my website.
That’s not me being [00:09:00] upset with you. That’s just me having boundaries. But I love your questions and also your questions help. My learning process. So I am so not perfect still. I’m learning every single day and your questions actually can really help and provide some guidance and some feedback. I mean, you all are super intuitive, so these things that you’re feeling and coming up with and sharing with me, they matter.
So thank you. That’s what I wanted to say. Thank you, and please don’t ever feel like you’re asking something silly or bothering. And that’s that. So the next thing is the breast massage. So what I am getting is considered a clinical breast massage, and it’s for the lymph around my breast and chest muscles and my neck and throat and shoulders.
And the first thing I wanna say is that I recognize. The fact that I have [00:10:00] access to this resource. I live in Seattle. I’m extremely fortunate to have access to this and also the means to do this, right? One of the things I cannot emphasize enough is investing in yourself. Free podcasts, library books. I go live on TikTok and do energy healing sessions, and I know a lot of other people do.
That’s investing in you too. And then there’s other ways we can invest in ourselves. Um, there is actually a book I read about this guy. He went into the foster care system and he decided he was gonna teach himself anything he could. And it was that moment that I actually decided to invest quite a bit of money.
It was $2,000 in myself into this program online. And I think I got, I was gonna say 60%. And the guides are like 40% . You got 40% of the way through it. But I got what I needed out of that course, and it shifted gears for [00:11:00] me. It made me realize that they’re calling it cash. That money is, they’re saying an archaic system that humans put in place, but we want to know that money is energy and currency.
They’re saying the currency, and it comes from source. There’s a book out there called It’s Not Your Money. That I think explains this in a good way. Okay, so taking a step back from that. So that is one of my pleasures, one of my joys in life, is to reward myself, for everything I’ve been doing and who says I need to reward myself for doing right, for being so much in my masculine.
But this is something I really wanted to do. I was getting the nudge now leading up to this appointment I have this afternoon. There have been two times in my life where this has been brought to my attention. This was 15 plus years ago, and I was living in Edmunds. There was a gal in town who was a masseuse, and she was a little [00:12:00] bit of a vagabond kind of fun, right?
She would just travel from town to town, and I get to her appointment and you could tell she knew what she was doing. She was not very formal. She’s just like, okay, girl. She should get on the table. We’re doing the. And she says, how do you feel about a breast massage? She goes, I work on the chest muscles.
I can do one and see how you feel. And I was sort of intimidated, but I was really curious. And that’s the other thing. You know, today I feel a little bit trepidatious. I feel nervous. I don’t know what to expect fully. However, that’s normal. When we go to our edges is where we. So this is a small example of how you can go to your edges and help yourself shift and grow.
This is one of the ways I like to do it. I just geek out on this stuff. So anyway, she puts a towel over my chest and she puts her hands on my right chest muscles. And I also wanna acknowledge the fact that this can be really triggering for a lot of people and how fortunate I am that this is not triggering and.[00:13:00]
It’s okay if this triggers you right. This is life in America. I think we’re a little bit emotionally stunted to think all of this stuff is so sexual. Yet in other parts of the world, it’s very normal to do chest and breast massage and it’s very, very healthy for us too. Right. So there’s obviously these thoughts of sexuality, thoughts of shame, thoughts of intimidation and thoughts of, I’m not good enough because.
My body doesn’t look a certain way. Your health is everything. Your health is everything. And the other thing I was thinking about this morning is I was like, gosh, you know, maybe once a year we see one of those pictures of women in the shower checking for breast lumps. Why don’t we actually have more information on how to just do breast and chest massages for men, women, or however you define yourself.
Right? It’s good for us. Our lymph is. Our lymph and our muscles and our heart chakra. So that’s the other thing. This afternoon, this is more of a heart chakra [00:14:00] energy thing, session. And I always set intentions before I go into any type of massages. I don’t say them to the practitioner, I say them to myself and I honor them.
And I just ask for support and energetic support and release for what’s for the highest good. And oftentimes I think practitioners are doing energy work. They just don’t share it with us or let us know. Okay. All of that being said, I’ve got this towel over my chest and she’s working these chest muscles, not for very long, just my chest muscles.
And she goes, take a breath. How do you feel? And I was like, whoa. I felt such a difference, you guys. I mean, it was like night and day. It was like my right chest. The right side of my chest was like loose and free and more flowing. And the left side was really tight. And she goes, do you want me to do the other side?
I said, yes. So she does the other side. It was wonderful. I’ve never forgotten it, and I’ve wanted that feeling and sensation again. So fast forward. I am in Las Vegas. I’m working in tech, [00:15:00] and we had been there for about five days. And if you’ve ever been to a tech conference in Vegas, it’s awful. , especially if you’re energetically sensitive, you basically get this mass produced gross food you’re inside every single day.
It’s a hundred and some odd degrees. You’re in this air conditioned, smoked filled casino warehouse of conference rooms, and you’ve gotta get up by six, you’re there by seven, and then you have events far into the evening. There’s a lot of drinking encouraged, there’s a lot of unhealthy eating, encouraged.
And then you’re in Vegas and some people go crazy. So plus you’re sitting all day. You’re sitting all day, you’re wearing clothes that you wouldn’t normally wear all day. So just very not comfortable. So it’s the last day we’re done, and I have the rest of the day ahead of me. I think my flight was the following morning and one of my coworkers and I, he’s awesome.
We were both talking about getting, you know, we’re like, we’re staying in tonight. We need to rest not together. [00:16:00] Separate. Mind you, , we were just chatting over text and we were both saying we wanted to get a massage, but the massages at the hotel were booked, or they were really expensive. So we thought, well, why don’t we, I was like, I can find something on.
And of course I was really nervous to get like a happy hunting type massage, which to each their own, right. Okay, whatever. But that was not what I was going for . So I found this place on Yelp. Of course, I set an attention and I found this place on Yelp that had a ton of reviews and people who said, oh, I was here for a conference, and they came to my room and it was all good.
I was like, okay, I think this is gonna be okay. So him and I both order these massage. And afterwards, we both said we had great experiences and it was actually really cheap. I think it was $90. Okay, so concierge or whomever lets me know that this person’s here. I say, no problem. They send him up and who is at the door?
But this very petite, maybe 90 pound woman who barely [00:17:00] speaks English from Eastern. And I welcome her and my, most of my family’s from Germany. My dad has a lot of German in him, and then my grandparents were six months pregnant with my mom when they came over on a boat and landed in the harbor in New York and then moved to Seattle.
So I have a lot of German in me, so I’m familiar with that culture, that Eastern European culture, that European culture, and they’re a lot more open-minded and fluid than we are here in America. So this gal starts giving me a massage and I’m thinking, you know, typical empath, right? And she’s doing an amazing job and she sets up the table.
I’m like, can I help you ? You know, you weigh less than that table . Is there a bodyguard nearby? What if I was a creepy individual trying to take advantage of you? These are my empathic thoughts, of course, and she’s absolutely wonderful. Again, barely speaks English, but I mean, gosh, good for her for coming in and working and making changes in her life, right?
She gets to this point where I flip [00:18:00] over and she moves the sheet down and she just starts giving the muscles around my chest a massage. And I thought, oh, is this the moment where I realize I accidentally am paying for some sort of sexual something ? And so I was like, oh, you know, and then we start communicating and she goes, oh, you know, it’s fine.
It’s fine. And then she goes on to gimme a breast massage. Like it was just part of the package. No big deal. It was not sexual at. Felt great again, except I was so tense the whole time , because I was like, is she going from a pants nax, ? Because we couldn’t quite communicate right? And she did not. She was very professional and she did an amazing job.
You know, it was just very normal because again, in other parts of the world, just taking care of your lymph and your chest is just a very normal thing. And think about the fact. How much we harbor in our heart chakra and how much it needs to open and how much movement we know helps our whole body. So, you know, any massage you can give yourself [00:19:00] or if you’re comfortable asking someone to give you, I think is just, it really helps us shift.
So anyway, I was getting the nudge for about three months and I did a research in Seattle for breast massage. And found who I’m going to today and I’m really looking forward to it. Like I said, I’m a bit nervous cuz that’s what happens when we push our edges and I’m really good at pushing my edges with energy work,
It’s the only thing I will push my edges with. One of my friends turns 40 next week and a bunch of people are going skydiving and I just said, no thank you. I just don’t have any desire to do that. However, if it comes to anything energy, I will be the first person in line, but that’s so I can learn from it and share it with you guys.
You don’t have to get all the bumps and bruises and scratches that I did , or you get to, you know, go through your journey and process a little bit smoother and reap the benefits sooner, much sooner than I did. Okay, so that is my story around the breast massage. The other piece I wanted to talk about [00:20:00] is how I didn’t listen to my intuition.
I went on a trip with my mom and my German grandmother, and my German aunt was in town from Alaska. Her and her husband moved out there last year, and the move’s been so good for them, but we missed them terribly. And so she came into town and we went to Leavenworth. If you’re not familiar with Leavenworth, it’s about, it’s a couple hours east out of Seattle, and basically it was an old town.
Lost its, I’m trying to remember what they were mining. I think they were mining something or they were doing railroad work and it stopped. So they decided to turn it into like a little Bavaria, a little Germany, and it’s not the exact same, but it’s absolutely delightful and it’s worth taking a trip out there.
Anyway, we had stayed there three days, two nights. My German grandmother is 96 and a half. She’s absolutely incredible. She’s in impeccable health for a lot of reasons, a lot of proactive reasons on her. And [00:21:00] you know, we just wanted to be mindful of her and her experience cuz she doesn’t get out and do these things a lot.
Right. She doesn’t drive anymore. And we had been there for a couple of days. Everything was great and I remember feeling, so I was communicating with my cats the days I would be home. And I just kind of felt like I wasn’t gonna be home that Sunday, which I didn’t have a really terrible feeling. I just had this like funky feeling, like the energy was kind of squi.
And I thought, okay. I was like, well, I’m just going to continue to trust the process. And I was actually very in my masculine that trip because I was making the plans, doing the booking. I was doing the driving. I was driving us there and back I, with the help of my mom who was with us also, who’s incredible.
You know, we were kind of taking care of everyone and my aunt and my grandmother are amazing. They’re independent, they’re wonderful, but they do require a certain level of care as to be expected. Right. [00:22:00] So I felt like I was very in my masculine that weekend in some ways. Right. And my grandmother and I did pause to meditate together, which I loved.
All we did was say, Hey, do you wanna meditate? Sure. And we closed our eyes for maybe 15 minutes in the same. So again, meditation is not something that has to be formal. We were both on separate couches and we just set intentions together and let it ride. So anyway, I was thinking about us getting home. I was thinking about traffic, I was thinking about getting over the pass, all of these things, and my energy started to gimme anxiety.
Now, Anxiety happens when our energy is trying to tell us something’s out of alignment, and I know that’s very general. I’ve asked the guides for more information. They’ve never given it to me because they say it just shows you when something’s out of alignment, which by the way, I dated this guy last year and I started getting panic attacks and I did not associate them with him, but when we stopped dating, the [00:23:00] panic attacks went away.
he’s not a bad guy whatsoever. He’s a really good guy. But needless to say, that was not supposed to work. Okay, so I’m in my masculine and we start driving and you know, I set the intentions for our trip and for safety and all this stuff. And as we’re driving I start to notice that there’s not a ton of cars on the road.
And I was like, well, that’s weird. And we continue driving for another hour or so, and my anxiety begins to heighten, heighten, heighten, heighten, heighten. And I’m using my tools. I’m taking deep breaths. I’m asking spirit and specialists of the light for safety, for support, all the things I’m checking in.
Are we gonna be okay? Yes, of course You are and we start to drive over the past and there are no cars around us. It is 1130 on a gorgeous Sunday and there’s no cars. And I was like, this is weird. . And I say something to my family and my mom’s like, yeah, it’s a little weird. And my aunt goes, no, Emily.
Everybody’s where they’re supposed to be right now. . [00:24:00] This is so funny. So we continue to drive and we see a sign flashing that says US Highway two is closed. And we thought, well that’s interesting because why wouldn’t they have told us that as we were leaving Leavenworth? Why wouldn’t we have seen more signs?
What do we do? And unfortunately, it was a summertime and there were wildfire. So we continue driving. My anxiety continues to just go through the roof. I don’t say anything to my family and we end up getting to a blockade. And I spoke to this really nice police officer, he said, I’m sorry. He goes, you need to turn around.
You need to go 60 miles. That direction you need to go through. Blew up pass. And then you go on I 90 over this pass and I thanked him. And um, we turned back around. And when you drive on highway two, In that area, you don’t get service, you just don’t. There’s pockets of service. So my mom, we decide pretty quickly, we’re just gonna stay another night in Leavenworth because people are tired.
It would be too much [00:25:00] driving. And she does a search, she calls a place, and of course we’re setting our intentions. And according to booking.com, there are only two places with availability, which is kind of crazy. And she calls, she books a spot. We’re like, , we end up rolling in and we stayed at this incredible spot.
It’s called NZ, N n E N Z I a N I N N. If you ever get the chance to stay there, it is worth it. You’re gonna pay a little bit more of a premium. Now, naturally, this was a bit more than we wanted to pay, but given the circumstances, we were fine with it, and the place ended up being such a gem. We got room side by side with connecting doors.
Couldn’t have asked for better. We played cards all night. We laughed our faces off, cried from laughing so much, it didn’t end up being such a positive situ. My family and I talked about this cuz I told them about the anxiety I had and my aunt’s like, well, we would’ve listened to you. But imagine if I just paused at any point, at any point and said, oh, why am I feeling this way?
What do I need to know for the highest good? [00:26:00] Should we stay? Should we pause and look at the road? So what happened is we were looking at the map, and the map hadn’t updated to show that the road was. But I was so in my masculine of getting things done. Now, masculine is not bad. We need it, but there needs to be somewhat of a balance, right?
So of course, had I paused, we probably wouldn’t have driven that far. We probably would’ve enjoyed a much longer day in Leavenworth. It is what it is, but it all worked out for the highest good for a reason. And then of course I held space for whatever I could for the highest good, for support for the wildfires because those absolutely break my heart.
And I know that those are happening all across the US and in other parts of the world. And that’s been really rough. So even I, someone who teaches the stuff, practices the stuff, pulls space for other people. I go through these odd moments where, I brain fart and I’m like, oh, I’m just gonna get stuff done the old fashioned way.
I suppose, listening to my division, [00:27:00] so know that this happens to the best of us and is always good to pause. And in another podcast episode, I’m going to talk about what it means to build out support with your family, or with your friends. Or with new people as you become more energetic and you need and you desire to be accepted.
With your magic, with your intuition, with your energy. We’re gonna talk about that in future episodes, probably not just once, because it’s a big deal. It’s been a big part of my journey and it happened over time. It’s had many surprises and some good, some that have felt not so good because that’s life
Okay, so we’re gonna close this down. Now they’re bringing me to our root and our sacral chakra. That’s the red and the orange. And I’m just setting the intention that the light you need finds you today for your highest good. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for co-creating. If you haven’t left your review yet, please do so.
If you [00:28:00] want to build out your own personal community, send this to someone in your life who you think might benefit from it. This episode or another episode. Thank you so much for being you and bringing more of your light into the world. Until next time, thanks so much for listening to today’s episode.
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